The teen age is a remarkable time in the life of a child and how he or she handles life at this stage, and will determine the type of life or future that awaits him or her.
Teenagers love to rebel, explore and experiment with different things. Most times they make the healthy choice, and sometimes they make the unhealthy decision.
As a parent, have you taken time to observe your child? Is he or she happy or depressed?
Now, have you ever thought about why some teenagers are happier and optimistic than others?
Don't you think it is something that calls for concern as parents and guardian?
In my profession as a therapist, I have counseled many teenagers struggling with depression and anxiety. Many have attempted suicide while other suffer in silence and seclusion.
What makes the difference between the two sets of teenagers?
I agree with you that it is their optimistic nature and willpower, but there is more to it than meets the eyes.
Below are some excerpt, gathered from years of research and services on why some teenagers are more happy & optimistic than others.
1. The Parent
You might find it confusing as to how the parent comes to play in this discussion. Apparently, the parental displayed image influences the teenage child.
How well do you interact with your child as a parent?
Is your relationship stable with him or her?
You need to ask yourself if you are on track as many teenagers feel depressed today just because they didn't get quality attention from their parents.
How well do you create time for yourself as a parent in interacting, going out, supporting their pursuit of career and choices?
Do you know it builds up their self-esteem as well as their confidence?
Placing the child on the right path of life takes much work, focus and dedication from a parent to a child.
Also, parents should refrain from using abusive words on their ward, as it damages the child's thought and in like manner, he or she will grow up with that mindset and transfer such trait of the discipline towards his or her own children.
The image parents portray matters. And for this reason, teenagers whose parents exhibit a positive image and good moral characteristics live very happily.
2. The Social Constraint
The ability to socialize freely at will influences a teen’s mood and lifestyle. Most depressed teens refrain from associating with their mates just because some parents fear the effect of peer pressure doing much harm than good.
How can a child grow in balance if he is socially isolated! Parents need to be careful with what they wish for.
Constraining the child from socializing and involvement in extracurricular activities can lead to antisocial or a depressed teen tendencies.
However, giving your teen the moral support and guidance on creating healthy friendships will help them understand life better, but make him or her a better person to both you and the society.
In fact, the teen's ability to socialize and interact with his or her peers as well as participation in extracurricular activities will help build the immune system of his/her mind, thereby keeping him /her healthy physically, mentally and emotionally.
3. The Level of Psychology
Teenagers develop a sense of liberty. It is at this point in life that they tend to widen their horizon.
The psychology of a teenager is either influenced positively or negatively at this particular stage in life. Also, the choice to choose from the options of being optimistic or pessimistic is from the parent, teachers, peer group and community he or she resides.
The level of psychology depends on individual differences and the ability to decide. A teenager who is positive minded and goal oriented will never be weighed down by failure or circumstances because he sees good in every situation life throws at him or her.
Though being optimistic can be attributed to their adaptive nature or acquired knowledge from their teachers and parents, it all begins with the inner force or willpower to achieve excellence which in turn influences the child's happiness.
Consequently, the ability to show gratitude helps stabilize the teenage child. A child who is grateful will be happy, joyful and relaxed.
However, all this trait of gratitude and the optimistic feeling is achievable from the guardian, parent or close relative.
What can I do to correct this problem?
Having pointed out the obvious, it is vital that parents should tread with caution as they are a role model for their kids.
Furthermore, it would be pleasing to know that the interaction we build with them today, determines the finished product we would get in the future.
Unfortunately, many teens will remain rebellious, even with the proper moral upbringing by the parent, which is as a result of certain factors.
Should you notice an unusual characterized change in your teenage son or daughter, I advise that you visit a trusted professional therapist as a family, to help find that balance before things get out of hand.
Also, it is important to note that a professional therapist or counselor is not there to judge your shortcomings, but to help you win back the love that once bloomed. Therefore, take that leap of faith today and save your child from a life of misery and pain.
For more information or to schedule an appointment online visit our teen counseling page or call us at 919-647-4600.